PIP's PAGES

New photos of me :::::

Updated 21st Jan 2003

 

NEW!! I've just had a session in the recording studio and now you can listen to ME PURRING.

My name is Pip and I am a 12 year old female Birman. The multiplier for cat to convert to a human age is complicated. The 1st year of a cat's life counts 21. The 2nd counts 10 and every year thereafter counts 3. So that makes me ... er er um um 49. I'm a woman not a mathematician, what do you expect? It's my birthday on the 1st April (I was born in 1990). There have been two men in my life. Man 1, writer James Maw, gave me my name. He's a fan of Charles Dickens, hence Pip, after Philip Pirrip in Great Expectations. I don't mind the male nickname, because my real name, licenced with the Fancy Cat Society, is Sabatini Santamorra. I am of course, descended from the acclaimed Stretford Santamorras and I got my first name because I was registered during Wimbledon Week in 1990. When Man 1 sold up and moved to Brighton, he sold me to a neighbour, Man 2, Robin Marshall, who now looks after me. one.

Ahhhhh, those hot keys I'm going to upgrade to G4 titanium soon. It has a hotter processor.

My man has a titanium watch. But does it tutut-tell the tutut-time?

 

 

My Likes and Dislikes

I Like

Because

Shell on prawns

Someone has to peel them for me

Birds

I might catch one

Men They are men

I Dislike

Because

The vacuum cleaner

It sucks

Dogs

They smell and they can't miau

 

Below, on the left, is the only surviving picture from when I was an itty bitty kitty. LATE NEWS!!! I have just been told that there exists a picture of me with my mother. A copy has just arrive: SEE BELOW ------------->>>>>

LATE LATE ADDITION: You can now listen to me purring, in Realaudio.------------->>>>>


On the right, I can be seen sitting on the famous astronomer, Sir Patrick Moore, doing my impression of a binary quasar.

 

Man 1, James, is the young chap in the background. Living with such a good cook and prawn peeler, I didn't get out much, except to the vet.

I know quite a few stars and have been cuddled in my time by Tom Baker and Julie Goodyear. I have also appeared with Lisa Tarbuck in the TV sit-com "Watching", playing the part of Spinosa.

 

Man 2 takes me for walks on the canal towpath, albeit on the end of a long piece of string, which seems a bit unnecessary after what the vet did to me.

My fur looks pretty good against the autum leaves, tho I do say it myself. And it's just the cold that makes my fur puff out. I am NOT a fat cat. Indeed, I can tell you for a fact that I weigh 3.1kg and that is not a lot for a prime pussy cat. I am having a bath this weekend and I'll get a photo of me looking like a bottle brush then you can see how thin I am.

This is me inspecting my Christmas dinner. They are having turkey; I have to make do with roast pigeon.

 

 

 

 

Well, a gal's got to have somewhere to sharpen her claws! Most cats have a Scratch Pole. I've got a Scratch Greek.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I beg your pardon! I am just about to have my hair cut. You've got to think about this one.

 

Here I am up in the rafters. They told me "Your bats", so I assumed they were up here.

 

 

My friend Homer comes to see me on the window ledge. I'm sure he tastes nice..... er..... hang on, what did I just have for Christmas dinner............. Hommmmmeeeeeeer....... it wasn't my fault!!!!!

 

 

 

I remember when I were a lass, living in a shoe box on the M1.
Well it's nice to take a trip down memory lane now and then.
I like boxes. This one's actually a candle box, not a shoe box.

 

 

 

 

 


Here's a general album from memory lane:

I guess I've got through a few of my lives, in particular:
1) Shut in the fridge for four hours. Survived by eating smoked salmon.
2) Escaped from my first man and was re-captured at the NatWest cashpoint on Deansgate.
3) Escaped again and was caught on the Mancunian Way.
4) Jumped into a bath which I thought was empty - but wasn't.
5) Went for a walk over the slippery roof of the 6 storey warehouse where I live.
6) Leaned out of the swivel window looking for Homer. It swivelled shut on my neck and I was trapped for 3 hours.
7) The vet.
8) Sat too close to a candle on the window ledge, torched my tail spectacularly. Pheww!!
9) Got an invitation to a D:Ream gig, although this probably doesn't count since he might not have turned up.


 STOP PRESS: ME AND MY MUM: SPRING 1990
 


Internet Email: Yes, I have my own internet e:mail address and wouldn't mind hearing from anyone out there:-

Sorry. I used to put an email ID here but humans are so utterly stupid. I get a few nice emails from other cats (and even one from Jack, a dog who claims to like cats haha). But now I get 50 emails a day, mainly from stupid humans who live in some place called USA. They offer to solve my financial problems by making me a loan. I'm a cat, I don't have any. They offer me viagra but I don't think it will be as good as Canine Royale Sensible 33 cat food. My human property tells me viagra is for males. Don't they read my details first? They offer me photos of something called Brittany Speers doing something I don't understand. They offer me the sole UK franchise for their new weather boots. So for a while, I have to withdraw my email ID and keep it secret. If you really want to send me a message, phone me on my mobile 0772 0398 277. If its a genuine contact for me, no problem. But if you are offering these loan things, then beware, I have registered with a thing called TPS which can impose a fine on unsolicited marketing calls or text messages!

 

The address of this web page is http://hepwww.ph.man.ac.uk/~robin/htmls/pip.html.
My town address is: The Middle Warehouse Towpath, Castlefield, Manchester. My country address is now in Wilmslow but I am not telling exactly where. There are too many foxes in the garden already.

   

  visits since 1 April 2001